My Confession


I can’t let another minute go by without fessing up.  It’s about the vision quest.  I wasn’t alone that night I stayed up all night.  Angie, my dog, was with me.  I didn’t plan it that way.  Truly, I didn’t.  It just sort of happened.  Let me tell you how.

For much of my time alone when I wasn’t keeping my self busy gathering stones, preparing my circle or hiking I was feeling miserable about being away from Mike and even Angie.  My Sunday evening was miserable.  I cried and cried calling out Mike’s name.  As darkness fell and I crawled into my sleeping bag sobbing, I prayed asking for help.  Then it was like a light switch went on and this wonderful idea came to me.  Who says I have to stay away from Mike.  Tomorrow, I could hike to the campsite and see him.  It’s only about five miles.  I could go the first thing in the morning and be there by noon.  Once I decided that, I smiled and fell asleep.

First thing that morning, I grabbed a jug of water and my camera and off I went.  As I walked I took pictures.  The morning seemed so beautiful.  I was going to see Mike.  I remember in the Quest book Linn mentioned different Vision Quests.  One was the pilgrimage.  In spite of being exhausted from little to no food and hiking up and down the hills for the last few days my step was light.  I was on a pilgrimage, a pilgrimage to see Mike.

I forgot my map and took a wrong turn on the trails.  I ended up taking the long way.   I thought I would never make it.  I was dead tired.  Each hill I hoped would be that last.   As I trudged closer to the campsite, I hoped with all my might that Mike would be there.  I know he likes to fish in the morning but even if he did he should be back by noon right?.  He might even be cooking up something on the grill.  I thought I could smell the brats cooking on an open fire.  Yes, I said to myself.  If he is cooking something, I will eat it.

I strolled up to the campsite quietly hoping to surprise him.  Angie saw me first.  She didn’t recognize me and gave a low growl.

“What’s wrong with you,” Mike said looking up.   “Well,”  he added, a smile brightening his face.  “Look whose here.”  I just walked into his arms.  He held me for as long as I wanted.  It was sweet delight.  That’s all I can say.

I did eat and enjoyed being with him.  It was only about an hour but it was the one fantastic hour.  I allowed him to drive me back to the backpack sites.  Once there, he and Angie walked with me the mile or so hike up to my site, which was mostly up hill.  We stood in the middle of my site hugging before he turned to go.

“Come on, Angie,” he said looking down at her.

“Maybe Angie would like to stay,” I said meeting his eye as he looked back at me.

“Sure, I think she would like that.  She has been looking for you every time we walked pass a camp site.”

“Really!” I smiled looking down at Angie.   “You sure you don’t mind?”  I glanced again at Mike.

“No, it would be nice not to have to walk her.”

And so Angie stayed.  I can’t tell you how I appreciated her company.  We hiked, even though I was dead tired.  I took pictures of her and I using my little tripod.  And while I was in my circle, she just sat there as if doing vigil.  I didn’t mention Angie in my posts but now I’m telling you she was there.  And that is my confession.

I just finished putting the pictures for this trip on Flickr.  Stop by and check it out.

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4 responses to “My Confession

  1. Janice, You have great experiences and a really wonderful way of sharing them. You make me feel like I’m going along on the journey with you. 🙂 If it was me, I would’ve taken my dog to begin with. I’m glad she stayed and she even understood what you were doing. They’ve had a lot of shows about dogs on PBS lately and dogs truly are angels. Going to check out all your beautiful pictures now.

    • I’m glad you liked it. I was thinking maybe people are tired of hearing about this questing thing. That is what Angie is named after. Her full name is Angel. She came into my life as a gift from angels.

  2. Fessing up is good for the soul and good for you!

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