It was about 6:00 o’clock in the evening as I lay on my bed looking up at the bumpy textured ceiling, feeling sorry for myself, yet again. I applied for a job at the local library and just received a very polite rejection letter letting me know they filled the position with someone who had more experience.
I felt zapped between the eyes in total shock at the unfairness of it all. I believed in my heart and soul that I would at least have an interview. I was frozen in disbelief and dismay before I broke and the tears came. I felt like a fool for believing I would be interviewed.
Finally, I just gave up and crawled into bed feeling certain that the real reason I didn’t get an interview was because I was a loser. In fact, just like hiccups I keep repeating, “I’m such a loser,” softly to myself. It felt like I was on my deathbed while my life flashed before my eyes with all my failures when the phone rang shortly after six.
Mike walked over to me with the portable phone extending it in my direction, “It’s for you. Your friend Ann.” I sighed reluctantly taking the phone.
“How are you?”
“Yeah. How are you?”
“I’m good. You sound like your upset.”
“That’s cuz I am.”
“If you want to talk, I’ll listen.”
I waited as my brain raced through my options. Should I or shouldn’t I? What should I say? How should I say it? Does it even matter? Tears rolled down my face. At last I took a deep breath and told her about the letter.
“It would be nice to earn some money, you know. But then I remembered how I was saying to you the other day about your checking out a career in interior design and how I said that you could do that, invest all your time and money in a new career and maybe ten years from now you would be making money at it or you could spend that same time and energy in your music and be making money doing that. Because…” I laughed because of what I was about to say. “Well, because I think your music is your gift. I mean, it’s obvious.” I recalled many a time when Ann voiced her fears regarding her music realizing in the back of my mind it may not be obvious to her.
“Not to me!” Ann said right on cue.
“But you’re so good at writing songs, and singing and the guitar. What I mean is I wish I had a gift that was that so obvious, at least to others anyway.”
“You do,” she said. “When you write. I love reading your blog because sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry. I think your writing is your gift.” As I listened to Ann explain what she liked about my writing, I wondered if this could be for real. Could my struggles mirror Ann’s and I just can’t see clearly what is obvious to someone else
After nearly an hour of conversation I felt lighter. I was glad she called. I was glad we talked. The situation didn’t change but I didn’t feel so alone. Then I realized something.
“Ann, just before you called. I was laying here on my bed feeling angry with God and I sort of prayed. I said, ‘I read all the time how you come into peoples lives and touch their hearts. I don’t see any reason why you can’t touch me now and let me know I am not alone.’
“Wow! Really. I have been isolating myself lately and when I got home from work I heard a little voice inside me say, “Why not call Janice.’ So I did.”
This really choked Ann up but I was sort of numb about it. It didn’t hit me till later, that my prayer was answered. And the best thing was it was a good thing for the both of us.
The very next thing I did was go to the library’s web site and type in books about coincidence and I found of all things, When God Winks: how the power of Coincidence Guides Your Life by SQuire Rushnell and checked it out.
Before the table of contents the author writes:
Coincidence: A sequence of events that although accidental seems to have been planned or arranged.
Wink: to give a signal or express a message. –American Heritage Dictionary
God Wink: A personal signal or message, directly from a higher power, usually, but not always, in the form of a coincidence. –The author
What a lovely way of putting it. However, what is even more powerful is the following passage in the introduction to the book:
My Promise to you
- First, you are under the influence of a cosmic guidance system, and every day you receive little nudges to keep you on your chosen path.
- Second, tracking the coincidence in your past will create an astonishingly lucid account of your life, while providing clarity to the grand possibilities on the road ahead.
- Third, you can learn to harness the power of coincidences to enrich your future and to strengthen your inner conviction that the life path you’ve chosen is indeed the right path for you.
- Lastly, you’ll see that coincidences happen for a reason, and that’s to let you know one thing: You are not alone.
The whole rejection which threw me for a loop helped me realize again I am not alone not just by having good friends and a wonderful husband and family but I am also being guided by God and the universe.
I thank God that my prayers are still being answered no matter how many times I struggle with the same issue. That is certainly unconditional Love.
Can you think of any ways that God (whatever that means for you) winked at you to let you know that you were not alone?
Check out the web site When God Winks for more inspirational God Winks stories