Mike and I are traveling down to Carbondale, IL to view the total eclipse. I hope to have some photos. I will continue on with my thoughts after I had my heart attack and stents when I get back. I also hope to share my thoughts on viewing a total eclipse. So, till then, great void.
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I’m coming back to my blog. Or as I recently learned sitting in a circle with women to delve into self compassion, I am coming home, to myself, again. This is an act of self compassion, returning to my blog. I want to get out thoughts, ideas and ponderings that rumble around in my head. Up till now my dear husband Mike was the only one forced to sit in on my “lectures”, listening patiently and attentively as I share with him my latest mental wanderings, which usually took place in the morning. I would wake up with thoughts and emotions swirling in my head. I’d mention something to Mike and I’d be off and running.
This morning after finishing my thoughts I looked over at Mike and shrugged as if to say. I know, I know, I’m boring you.
Instead, Mike said, “You should write that down before you forget.”
I looked down and smiled. What a mind reader.
“I am thinking of blogging again,” I said, almost shyly, almost tentatively but with a kind of joyous determination in my heart. “But this time I am not going to focus on what I should write, how I should write. I am not going to worry about having proper links and references. This time it is going to be Jazzminy Crone Chronicles: just me. I am going to put voice to my thoughts and feelings and if no one sees it, if I get no traffic, then amen. Because this time I am going to write to activate my throat chakra. To get things out and moving.” I put my hands together like a cup. I placed them around my gut and moved them up through my chest and out my throat and mouth. “If someone stumbles upon my blog and likes it, that’s great but that is not going to be my goal. I really think that was my goal before. Which is why I got so stressed about it all. Which is one reason why I abandoned it.”
“That’s a great idea,” he said. “But here is my advice to you, my thought about you after knowing you for so long. You come up with great ideas and then you don’t do anything about them, you forget about them.”
I nodded raising the left corner of mouth.
“So, go do some writing now. Get the momentum going.”
I stood up. “All right, but I want it said, for the record, that I am going to write now but NOT because you said I should. Okay. You don’t tell me what to do.”
We both laughed
“I am the puppet master. I control the strings,” Mike said waving his hands in the air.
“Yeah, right, okay.” I left the room and headed straight for the computer room.
So, in closing I want to state out loud, into the void that this writing, this blog is an act of self compassion because I am opening up my throat chakra and allowing my voice to be heard, how ever small or meek. I am honoring my self, my voice, my thoughts, my feelings, my ideas. I am doing this and allowing it to be public but at the same time not actively trying to be on the search engines to try in get more traffic. Again, acting self-compassionately, I am letting what is, is.
At least, I suspect I may be resurging with spring. It seems I was dormant like the bear during the winter. As least as far as writing this blog is concerned. I haven’t written on my blog in a while and I am wondering what I want to do with it. I’m thinking of revamping it. Until I get that worked out, I will post a picture once a week with an affirmation. I am listening to Bob Griswold’s self-esteem CD. To make the affirmations I hear on the CD more personal I added an affirmation to a few of the to photo’s I took while out walking. Here is one such picture
One lovely blog
I was nominated for the One Lovely Blog award back in September when I came back after my little vacation from blogging. It was a wonderful surprise to come back to. I believe that once someone is nominated that means they were awarded the award. It is sort of an honorary thing. When researching the Internet like others before me who have received the One Lovely Blog award, The Word on the Net, Janice Heck, Paper – Pencil – Pen, I found the origin of the award to be lost in the ethers. My guess is it is a way for bloggers to give their due to blogs they love. The bottom line I am sure is to promote traffic for each other. I think that is a marvelous idea. The rules of the award are as follows:
ONE LOVELY BLOG AWARD RULES:
- I need to thank the person who nominated me.
- Share 7 things about myself that you still may not know
- Nominate 15 bloggers.
- Notify the nominees that I have done so.
- Put the logo of the award on my blog site.
I will tackle these items in order mentioned.
1. Thanking my nominator. I would like to thank Kim from afternoonstorm for thinking of me by nominating me for this award. I follow Kim’s blog afternoonstorm: seeking calm in stormy waters and enjoy her insightful open and honest sharing. I invite all who read this post to check out her blog.
2. Seven things about myself. Readers of my blog may know some of these things however I am just going to say them anyway because, heck, I don’t know what to say because I put it all out there in my blog to begin with. So, here goes.
- I flunked third grade. It was a traumatic time because at first I passed third grade. I was sitting in my fourth grade classroom one day early on in the school year when someone from the principles office came into the room and asked the teacher for me. When I went to the principles office I found out that I was going to the third grade room. It was the end of the world for my young 10-year-old self.
- I dropped out of high school at 18 to get married and have a baby which ended in divorce shortly after.
- I was a mother of three boys by the time I was 21. Of course having twins helped however it wasn’t easy being a baby and having babies and to make matters worse my first husband and I separated during my second pregnancy.
- I was a single mother for 7 years raising my three sons and unfortunately my life did not resemble the TV series from the 60’s called “My Three Sons” which btw you can watch episodes of on METV.
- I married again at 29 to Mike who has been with me for eons and decades through thick and through thin, blah blah blah. No, really I am blessed and I have discussed the many ways I am blessed on this blog. Mike blessed me with two more children when he came into my life.We had a yours and mine, never an ours, but the good news is the seven of us became an ours over the years.
- I enrolled in college in 1988 at the age of 38 fulfilling a secret I had locked away in my heart, to get an education, to go to college. I was on cloud nine at the start of my college years and for the final commencement. All I can say is nothing beats getting an education. It was eye-opening for me. If any one is thinking about going to college I would say go for it no matter what age, you’ll be glad you did, even if you have to pay off a bazillion dollars in loans.
- Ok, here is something that is more of an emotional truth than the first six. I am extremely uncomfortable leaving feed back on other people’s blogs, web sites or what have you. For that matter I have a hard time leaving a voice mail when I call someone. I agonize over what to say, pick apart what I did say if I said anything and worry that I did it all wrong, said the wrong thing. I could read a blog post and get an inclination to leave a comment. Maybe I am even excited because what I read was something I really enjoyed or it spoke to me or whatever. Sometimes my inclination doesn’t materialize into a comment. It gets censored even before I begin. But if I do manage to pull it off and actually leave a comment more often than not I have determined that I didn’t say what I was feeling or said it all wrong and I throw up my hands in despair.
So, there it is the seven things. Read em and weep. :Cry-Out: Or not. Maybe you would read em and laugh. :Overjoy:
Now for the fun stuff here are my nominations. I would encourage you to click on the listed blogs and see for yourself why I think they each are One Lovely Blog. Please don’t count the blogs I nominated or you might discover that I fall a bit short of the 15 mentioned in the rules.
The blogs I recommend to receive the One Lovely Blog award in no particular order are… drum roll… the envelope please.
Life’s Third Trimester Life’s third trimester tag line reads: Supporting those who have reached 60 or above in living their lives to the fullest so they can be models for generations to follow. With that said, if you are in life’s third trimester and would like to have creative conversations with others to live your fullest I would highly recommend this blog. Even if you are not in your third trimester, whatever stage of life you are in, you will find this blog enlightening and informative.
Life. A New Perspective This is a relatively new blog that focuses on looking at life from a new perspective. It is put out by Way of the Willow a certified mental health clinic in Wisconsin. You will find a new post a couple of times a month but is well worth the wait. The writing and thought that goes into the posts are excellent. The blog delves into topics such as depression, addictions and self-esteem to name a few. The posts are personal and informative.
Matrignosis A scholarly, informative, eye-opening, psychological blog from a Jungian perspective. Archetypes. If you want to understand the importance of and the role archetypes plays in our lives waste no time and head over to Matrignosis. Jean Raffa takes the mystery out of the mysterious and presents thought-provoking articles to help bring about inner wisdom.
Aging Abundantly Just like the title of the blog implies Dorothy Sander’s blog and website imparts much-needed information and inspiration to help a person do just that, age abundantly. Dorothy Sander focuses on the gift of aging letting us know that aging can be celebrated not dreaded.
Late Bloomer Debra Eve the author of Late Bloomer does her research when she publishes her articles on famous and not so famous later bloomers to inspire all who read her blog that it is never too late. When ever I feel like it is too late for me to do something because I am way beyond over the hill an article from Late Bloomers arrives in my inbox lifting my spirits.
Jenna Avery Jenna Avery is a writer, mentor to writers and modern mystic. Jenna Avery’s blog is all about helping to unleash a person’s creative force. She address such things as procrastination, dealing with thoughts of failure to open up to success and putting passion to work for you. She is an invaluable resource for writers or anyone with a creative passion. She is sensitive to the needs of creative individuals. She is inspiration at its highest.
Revealed Presence Photography Carla Kimball’s photo journal uses her art of photography to inspire a question that helps open up the deeper meaning in one’s life. I look forward to the arrival of the latest photo and question. I invite you to open up to the depth and beauty of an image and a questions.
My Spiritual Sabbatical Eleanor Brown is an inspirational writer and speaker who shares in her blog her personal essays and poetry what she learned when she “thought” she lost everything. Her thoughts are moving and heartfelt. The show me how to take a look at my own perceived losses and learn from them.
Kitty blogger On the lighter side I enjoy Kitty Blogger for all the heart warming, funny, provocative photo’s whose central focus is that of the amazing mysterious feline. This posts make me laugh, sigh and ahh. Seeing is believing. Check it out for yourself.
Ann Elizabeth Nagel is an exceptionally gifted singer songwriter whose music is beauty to behold. She has a blog on her music web site where she discusses the process around her music ideas. By reading her blog you get a sense of the woman behind the music. While your there check out the rest of her web site and see what makes Ann’s music so inspiring.
Water OverFire Contemplative spinning of straw into gold. That tag line is provocative in itself. The blog is philosophical. This blogger uses different media, pictures, video’s, stories, analogies to allow the reader to think and go deeper.
RV There Yet? My sister and her husband took an early retirement and are traveling around the country in their RV. This blog is a travel log of their adventures.
Stupid Evil Bastard. I know that name sounds menacing. I don’t know how I found this blog but I’m glad I did because I think it is really good. It is humorous, honest, thoughtful yet off the cuff. Les Jenkins the author of Stupid Evil Bastard is really a big-hearted softy. He is fearless and I admire that. I don’t know how he would feel about the description but that is what he feels like to me. Les puts a disclaimer on his about page that reads, “SEB is not a place for the easily offended as swearing is common and Les pretty much says whatever he’s thinking at the time.” So if you are not easily offended check out this blog, you might be surprised. Pleasantly I hope. :Who-s-the-man:
How was your summer? Was it a long hot one? In Wisconsin it was definitely a long hot summer. This summer I turned 62 and I grappled with that birthday. It’s hard to believe I’m 62 and yet I am well aware that I have been around for 62 years. It’s been a wild ride these 62 years. Lots of experiences. Some good. Some not so good. Some really fantastic and some down right awful. It is these experiences that I think is the stuff of life. I even came up with a little “saying” for lack of a better word to help remind me about what is important. The living of life not acquiring things. The saying goes like this:
Collect Experiences Not Things.
Actually when I did a Google search on that saying I discovered that it was not an original idea at all. Such is life. Anyway, I believe that it is experiences that can never be taken away. Unless of course the great cosmic design has Alzheimer or some other brain/memory disorder written in the cards. But for now, while I am still vibrant, I am on a quest to collect experiences.
Right now at this point in my life I am collecting many experiences taking care of our little 2-year-old grandson, in addition to experiences with other members of our family With Gavin, however, I am with him at least 34 hours a week which allows for a lot of experience collecting. He is one darling little boy who is showing me what it means to meet life with exuberance and joy. He teaches me about trust and openness.
Our house is full but not just with our grandson. We also have Angie and Susie our dog and cat. However, I got a wild notion one day that I would like to have another dog. Seems I thought there was room for one more, like our house need more life.
I mentioned to my husband Mike my thought about another dog and he said, “yeah, sure” but he didn’t know I was seriously considering it, like right this very minute. Once he said, “sounds good” I immediately looked at a couple of humane society web sites. I had a specific idea of what I was looking for. I wanted a dog smaller than Angie, our chocolate lab/pit bull/Rhodesian ridge-back etc mix. Although Angie’s hair is short she sure can shed. I wanted a dog that didn’t shed. So smaller, less hair.
I found many dogs like that on the web sites but they were mostly males which I never wanted because of an experience I had when I was around 12 with a girlfriends male dog going at it on my leg. It was a mortifying experience and so I stayed away from male dogs. In addition, the humane societies were asking hundreds of dollars to adopt a pet. I wanted a dog but I didn’t want to shell out that kind of money. So, I said to the universe that I would be open and wait and see what comes my way. Angie came into our lives as a stray running loose in the small town we lived in at the time. That was six years ago. I thought maybe another dog would come into my life in a similar fashion. I didn’t have to wait long.
On July 22 days before my 62 birthday, Dean-o, a little Italian Greyhound/Whippet mix showed up. It’s kind of an interesting story. I’ll save that for another time. Right now I am talking about experiences and how they are the stuff of life. And so…
I realized that it is through experiences that I feel truly alive. Well, that and being foolish a sentiment I articulated in the quote below and wrote about in my post Foolishness means Aliveness:
To Be Foolish Means To Truly Be Alive.
What I mean by surrendering to what I perceive is my foolishness is that I am able to fully engage in an experience. On the big plus side if you spend my life collecting experiences I won’t need a big house or storage facility to store them. And many experience are basically free.
Okay, so there I was back in July turning 62 and adopting a new dog which brought me a whole set of experiences in itself, yet feeling how can I get more out of life? How can I get more out of life on a limited budget? Suddenly an idea just showed up for me to find, just like little Dean-o, the Italian Greyhound/Whippet mix, which I can’t wait to tell you about in a later post.
I took Angie, our resident dog and Dean-o, the new little guy, to Kettle Moraine State Forest for a hike. It seems Dean-o needs plenty of time and space to run. On this day, in late July, the dogs and I went to hike the trails of the Southern unit of Kettle Moraine. I wrote about these trails in January in my post Peacefully Coexist. In this forest there is the red trail and the blue trail and the green trail.
But there is also the yellow trail which is the Ice Age Trail. It’s more rugged and less traveled than the regular hiking trails because it was built and is maintained entirely by volunteers. Because there were others out on the trails that day I veered off the regular hiking trails and took the ice age trail.
It was a great hike that day. I totally enjoyed nature and the solitude. I fell in love with the ice age trail. I was hooked. I wanted more. Seemed to me I remembered seeing on the internet that the ice age alliance published maps the trail. Before I left that day I stopped in at the ranger station and purchased a loose leaf binder with all the maps of the 1000 mile trail winding through Wisconsin. My goal, to eventually walk the whole thing albeit in increments. That is what I have been doing once a week since July 30. So far I hiked 52 miles of the trail. I feel pretty good about it.
Yet… I have felt foolish. Foolish because I was doing it by myself, cept the dogs of course, with myself and for myself. This to me feels like utter selfishness and foolishness. However, while I am hiking, I allow myself to surrender to the experience. I bring snacks and water and a camera. I feel so totally peaceful and serene out there on the trail. However, if I gave into my feeling being foolish I probably would have abandoned the whole thing. I haven’t done that. Instead I surrendered to foolishness; I’m collecting my experiences and feel truly alive.
So here is my crone wisdom pearl: collect experiences and share them with others. Whether they be joyful or not. It is the experiences that make up who we are. Our individual experiences are our story. Sharing your experiences/ story with others can not help but breed compassion, understanding and a sense of belonging. What do you think?